I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
