Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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