Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
