This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
