You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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