I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
