He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
