I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
i need some magic done to my vagina
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
