no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
