I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
