I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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