Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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