Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
