There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
