great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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