I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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