I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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