i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Everyone says I win the strip club
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
