Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
