There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
