Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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