so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She is in my trunk
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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