I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You are a genius and a whore.