Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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