Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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