Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
