Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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