Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
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