hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
