So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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