did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
