My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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