you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
