FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
