I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
