went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
