We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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