oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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