just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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