hell yes lets make some ravioli
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
