There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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