did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
wow bdsm is so cute
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
