No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
