if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
