I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
