Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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