walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
