he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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