remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
