I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize