you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
