Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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