we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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