is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
