so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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