I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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