Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
