whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
