when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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