The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
